small talk.m4a

small talk.m4a

ICE sit down comedy.m4a

ICE sit down comedy.m4a

Career Day with ICE.m4a

Career Day with ICE.m4a

There was a young man interviewing for a job with ICE. He was really excited about the opportunity to serve his country. The recruiter asked him if he had ever been convicted of of a violent crime. The young man said no. The recruiter said, “I’m sorry son, but we’re looking for someone with more experience.”

There was a college administrator who had been tasked with drafting a curriculum for aspiring ICE agents. It was really hard to collect and categorize all of the ICE policies and procedures in one document. One day she was having lunch in the student cafeteria where she caught up with a law professor friend who explained to her that all she needed was Title 18 of the United States Code.

There was an ICE agent who was nervous about his first performance review because he realized that he had abducted several of the wrong people—thankfully his supervisor told him that the incorrect abductions would still count towards his quota.

An ICE agent was meeting with his pastor because he felt guilty for abducting people without cause and permanently separating children from their parents. His pastor reassured him that God has a plan for his life, and as long as he was tithing on his income he was good to go.

We don’t want to imitate Christ, we want to *be* Christ, by yielding to the same Holy Spirit that He did and which He sends to us. And the summit of Being Christ is to be co-Crucified with Him.

Due to the government shutdown, ICE is not able to update their website, so I told my recruiter friend at ICE that I would do what I could to spread the word that another benefit of joining ICE is that you get a free Halloween costume.

So there’s this ICE agent who goes in to see his dentist. Things started out fine–exchanging pleasantries etc., but things got heated pretty quickly. Finally, the dentist shouted–“I know that you are in network with your insurance, but I can’t examine your teeth if you don’t take off that mask!”