Panic is spreading upon rumors of a deal between Microsoft and Meta to combine LinkedIn and Facebook, noting that LinkedIn had been experimenting with gamifying its platform to test if LinkedIn could attract engagement for non-business uses.
Moreover, LinkedIn has also been Facebooking its platform by using videos that were unexpected and not requested–usually displaying content from a young person who has no idea what they’re talking about.
However, the captions and video techniques give off the impression that the young adults have no idea what they’re talking about.
Privacy groups are raising concerns that having one’s family barbecue video and Christmas card pictures put on LinkedIn will give some people a competitive advantage in the job market, noting that barbecue sauce selection has been demonstrated by AI to predict longevity, loyalty, and willingness to tolerate poor managers.
Likewise, concerns have been raised that Facebook will be permanently harmed by imposing LinkedIn’s orderly structure.
Medical experts and mental health practitioners have said that this would be a positive change given that Facebook is a complete trap and black hole that consumes everything that it touches and sees.
LinkedIn and Facebook executives cannot be reached for comment because they are at an off-site meeting about how few hours a company can reasonably give employees for holiday vacations. Location is not known, but some speculate that they are in El Salvador visiting the CECOT mega-prison.
Other topics on the agenda for that meeting include reducing remote work, offloading more administrative costs to third-party vendors and employees, as well as binge watching Pinky and the Brain.
Observers are waiting for an AI-generated joint press conference that ends in a brawl including footage of Mark Zuckerberg’s bloody nose and a cameo appearance by Reid Hoffman who broke down in tears to see what has become of his simple idea for trusted networks of people to connect with each other.
Rumors further indicate that the White House has gotten involved given the international impact of these platforms–expressing its desire to sell data from Truth Social to make sure that its political messages get favored status on the new platform.
No word yet about naming the new combined platform although artificial intelligence says that the likely name will be LinkedFace
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Boyd Camak 