rumors of LinkedIn Facebook merger causing extreme stress over holiday party attire

Panic is spreading upon rumors of a deal between Microsoft and Meta to combine LinkedIn and Facebook, noting that LinkedIn had been experimenting with gamifying its platform to test if LinkedIn could attract engagement for non-business uses.

Moreover, LinkedIn has also been Facebooking its platform by using videos that were unexpected and not requested–usually displaying content from a young person who has no idea what they’re talking about.

However, the captions and video techniques give off the impression that the young adults have no idea what they’re talking about.

Privacy groups are raising concerns that having one’s family barbecue video and Christmas card pictures put on LinkedIn will give some people a competitive advantage in the job market, noting that barbecue sauce selection has been demonstrated by AI to predict longevity, loyalty, and willingness to tolerate poor managers. 

Likewise, concerns have been raised that Facebook will be permanently harmed by imposing LinkedIn’s orderly structure.

Medical experts and mental health practitioners have said that this would be a positive change given that Facebook is a complete trap and black hole that consumes everything that it touches and sees.

LinkedIn and Facebook executives cannot be reached for comment because they are at an off-site meeting about how few hours a company can reasonably give employees for holiday vacations. Location is not known, but some speculate that they are in El Salvador visiting the CECOT mega-prison. 

Other topics on the agenda for that meeting include reducing remote work, offloading more administrative costs to third-party vendors and employees, as well as binge watching Pinky and the Brain.  

Observers are waiting for an AI-generated joint press conference that ends in a brawl including footage of Mark Zuckerberg’s bloody nose and a cameo appearance by Reid Hoffman who broke down in tears to see what has become of his simple idea for trusted networks of people to connect with each other.

Rumors further indicate that the White House has gotten involved given the international impact of these platforms–expressing its desire to sell data from Truth Social to make sure that its political messages get favored status on the new platform.

No word yet about naming the new combined platform although artificial intelligence says that the likely name will be LinkedFace 

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The Nicene Creed: read the menu, eat the food.

My understanding of the Nicene Creed is that it is a very very very important document–a vital inheritance from those who have gone before.  And the purpose of that document is to draw boundaries around the **mystery** of the incarnation.  There were (and still are) ideas floating around out there that seek to draw the mystery of Christ down to my level rather than tell me the good news that Christ has ruptured the existential prison that I am in…to offer me His life…an offer consummated in His crucifixion…as a rescue mission of love…a love so insane, psychotic, over the top, ridiculously crazy, un-expressible…in fact the **only** full expression of it is to stare at naked, tortured, brutalized dead man–lynched/electrocuted/nitrogen asphyxiated/shamed/executed/cast off–and even then it is still a mystery that will take more than a lifetime to try to fully understand.  (Henri Nouwen talks about “claiming” that love.) 

Christ is the bread of life—without his concrete flesh and blood life rupturing my existential no-exit hell (i.e. “came down from heaven”) I would starve to existential death.  His life is existential food…and not just in some symbolic way.  Unless I eat Christ’s flesh and drink His blood…in the Eucharist…I will not have access to that wordless mystery that was spoken in flesh and blood rather than concepts and blah blah blah.  

But facing that judgment seat of God (aka the cross) is shocking…that’s why I create lots of blah blah blah *about* it.  And then I argue about it and condemn others if my blah blah blah is different than their blah blah blah.  

But what’s more important?  Eating and living, rather than starving–eating Christ’s flesh, drinking his blood and living, including living existentially or—analyzing the menu?  

It’s not a perfect analogy, but the creed is kind of like a menu.  It tells us what is being served–and what isn’t.  What is being served is the life of Christ–who Christ is (the God-man), how he “came down from heaven” (ruptured my no-exit existential prison), was snuffed out by his children–including me, and the shit that went down after that–resurrection, ascension, descent of the Holy Spirit, and establishing the Church.  

So the creed is a good thing.  It is a very good thing—BECAUSE–it preserves the mystery from bullshit counterfeits and half-truths and outright lies.  It preserves the good news that Christ ruptured my reality as a rescue–in ways that defy, subvert, transcend, and heal conventional thinking.  

The problem is when I start analyzing that menu rather than facing the mystery.  I get up on a high horse about my analysis and my theological insights, rather than staring at a crucified/nitrogen asphyxiated dead man and meditating on what he taught in word and deed, and eating his flesh and drinking his blood.