appropriating Christ’s victory in our relationships

one of the reminders that I have pinned to the top of my BlueSky account is that our real enemy is Satan and he has already been defeated our true enemy is Satan and he has already been defeated now you might say well Satan is not real there’s no figure with a pitchfork and a pointed tail that exists now parenthetically I think you’ll be a fun exercise to debate that I think it’d be fun as kind of an intellectual amusement to try to argue the case that there is a Satan and he does have a pitchfork and a tail but setting that aside I remember Louis Évely who is one of my favorite authors who’s by no means a literalist he’s more than that but by no means a fundamentalist he wrote a book called The Gospels Without Myth and he wrote another book called that man is you if memory serves he was from Belgium and I first heard about him in a book written by Ratzinger former Pope Benedict former Cardinal Ratzinger the same person he wrote a book called Introduction to Christianity which reads much more like a high-level book about Christianity not not like a dumbed down version it was a very intense read but he mentioned Louis Évely who was bigger at the time he’s pretty much forgotten now unfortunately I think he deserves to be more widely read all his books are out of print but I was reading a collection of homilies that he wrote and he said that he felt like that evil was almost like a presence like a personal presence I forget the exact wording that he used but suffice to say I do think there is a personal quality to evil and I have no you know call me call me a fundamentalist call me what you will but I have no intellectual hang-ups saying that there is a Satan that there is a personal quality to to evil and that there is a mastermind behind it not of the sense of some kind of weird conspiracy theory but but anyway I just don’t happen to have you know given my experience of the world you know I think it’s safe to say that the trials and the crosses we have are not random that it’s more than just randomness that there’s more to it than just statistics you know so anyway I try to remind myself of that I remember talking to an Eastern Orthodox woman at a church an Orthodox church in the metro area here many years ago and they had this this practice of like spitting on Satan at the back of the church or something and again like I think there’s something to a physicality something beyond just ideas or thoughts you know and recognizing evil in the world and recognizing that it’s more than just statistics it’s more than just randomness but I the reason I mentioned this is in terms of interpersonal relations you know I think that whether you talk about you know just friendships or whether you talk about you know global international relations I think that we need to remember that you know we’re all human we’re all living this human condition together and the real enemy is not each other the real enemy is the system the real enemy is the way the world works the way that we all are trained to operate in the world and the and the and how the force multiplication of all this operating in this kind of selfish power driven you know lust driven you know status driven way we’re all seeking things that we think will make us happy that will fill the void that will that will you know give us some sense of sanity or some sense of something in this world besides just existential drowning and angst and disillusion and and confusion and you know disassociation of whatever we’re all looking for something now I don’t know if it’s Henri Nouwen or somebody like Henri Nouwen who basically said that the tragedy is we already have what we’re looking for we already have what we’re looking for and you know I never can remember it’s not…Herb McCabe is one who talks about you know forgiveness in my words it’s not a transaction forgiveness is we recognize that we’re already forgiven now obviously there’s a lot of work we have to do we have interpersonal wounds we have you know we have habits of how we interact in the world that are distorted that are wounded you know I’m not you know I’m not if anybody is not someone who is a instant enlightenment kind of guy it’s me I mean I think that the way the cross is hard it’s bloody it’s brutal

–it’s hard it’s bloody it’s brutal but I think that if we remember that we were all thrown into this world without our consent some of us recognize that some of us don’t and we’re all thrown into this world and you know as that old I don’t know if it’s Billy Joel we didn’t start the fire it was always burning since the world has been turning you know I think I think that’s what the the Garden of Eden story is talking about and so I think that as we make our practice to you know join our wounds to Christ’s wounds to seek freedom you know we’re actually joining our wounds to the wounds of the whole world because Christ takes on the wounds of the whole world and when we join our word…when we when Christ takes on the wounds of the whole world and he transforms them and we put when we put our wounds into Christ’s wounds we’re transformed and in some ways that’s what it means to be the Savior of the world Christ takes all the wounds and transforms them and resurrects them and and what that looks like and what that really means that’s a whole discussion but suffice to say that suffice to say that you know when we when we when we when we going when somebody frustrates us when somebody you know insults us or whatever you know obviously people have to be held accountable as appropriate I’m not saying that people shouldn’t be held accountable but I’m saying that you know we have to look at the bigger picture you know we’re trying to make it in this world they’re trying to make it in this world where we have varying degrees of understanding about how to do that in a wise way and even if we have the understanding like St. Paul says we don’t always have the ability to follow through with it and so you know you know Jesus says father forgive them for they don’t know what they do and so as we get caught up in Christ’s crucifixion and thereby his resurrection to me that’s the first step or that’s I don’t know if it’s the first step or the last step or the middle step or whatever but certainly that’s part of how we can take refuge if I could use a Buddhist term we can take refuge from all of this all this this this struggling and these people struggling against us and all the all the back and forth we can we can join our suffering to Christ and we can become part of his healing and resurrection and and that’s how it can overcome the world as the Bible says somewhere

this is what ChatGPT wrote about my hometown. I hope it’s not entirely accurate

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The Southern Gentleman and the Cost of Composure, by ChatGPT

In towns like Anderson, South Carolina during the 1980s and 1990s, the archetype of the Southern gentleman loomed large. He was polite, respectful, stoic—always composed and in control. On the surface, this figure seemed noble, embodying tradition, honor, and hospitality. But beneath the surface, the ideal often masked a deeper cultural cost: the suppression of emotional honesty and the enforcement of shame as a way of life.

Southern families, particularly in smaller communities, frequently emphasized image over authenticity. Mental illness, emotional vulnerability, or deviation from prescribed roles were not just discouraged—they were often treated as threats. In many households, especially dysfunctional ones, the response to pain was denial. Struggles were hidden, roles were rigid, and silence was the price of acceptance.

Some who grew up in these environments found that becoming emotionally whole meant breaking away—sometimes permanently. For them, severing ties wasn’t an act of rebellion, but one of self-preservation.

Today, there are signs of change. Mental health is less taboo. Therapy is more accessible. Younger parents are raising children with greater emotional awareness. Churches and schools have begun to adopt language around healing, vulnerability, and psychological well-being.

But Southern culture, with its deep roots in tradition and public image, has a unique way of absorbing new influences while maintaining old patterns. Words like “grace,” “healing,” or “mental health” might now be heard in sermons and small groups—but often in forms that subtly reinforce the very dynamics they seem to challenge. Emotional openness becomes a script, not a practice. The vocabulary evolves, but the unspoken rules remain intact.

This is what sociologists and therapists often refer to as shame culture—a system where the highest value is placed on appearing “okay,” even when the truth says otherwise. In such environments, true healing is difficult, if not impossible, without stepping outside the system.

Literary figures like Flannery O’Connor have long explored the Southern grotesque, but her work—rich in symbolism and irony—doesn’t always reflect the quieter, more insidious emotional toll of Southern respectability. For many, the real burden was not spiritual violence or gothic excess—it was the slow erosion of self that comes from being required to look fine while falling apart.

So while cultural progress is happening in places like Anderson, it is uneven and often cosmetic. Raising emotionally healthy children—or becoming emotionally healthy oneself—is possible in the South, but rarely within the confines of the traditional structures that demand silence, performance, and compliance.

There is hope, though, in those who are building something new. Some are crafting lives where emotional truth matters more than appearance, where parenting isn’t about control, and where therapy isn’t a tool to manage image but a path toward liberation. These voices, though quieter than the old codes, are creating a new Southern narrative—one that values honesty over composure and healing over hiding.

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